Time to make a change

We started Life's Healing Choices this week.  It's always encouraging when you've been looking forward to something for a long time for it to finally arrive.  One of the points made in the book is that we don't make any changes until the pain in our lives is greater than the pain related with making that change.  How much pain do we want to go through before we change?

I have a pretty high pain tolerance.  I don't like pain, but I can deal with it.  This allows me to do some really stupid things, not caring about the physical consequences.  While playing football on astroturf I continually tore my knee up.  It was like sliding on gravel every time I dove to make a play.  When it came game time, I intentionally banged my knee on the wall to open it up a bit so I wouldn't be bothered the whole game by it.  Here's an idea, how about wrapping it?  I guess that would have been too much trouble and I would have missed playing time.

I do the same thing relationally.  It takes me a long time to decide to stop the bleeding when things go bad.  I don't mind being hurt a bit, but if it keeps happening, a change is needed.  Rather than beating ourselves up over things, we need to let God just wrap it up.  We can't fix it ourselves, or we already would have.  We can't, so we don't.

Never too old

I have been waiting a long time now to start my Masters degree program.  My scholarship finally went through, so I can start in a few weeks now.  I already feel old going back to get another degree, but when it's free, I can't refuse that!

I do have a complaint to lodge about people in general.  Why do people never return phone calls?  It took me 8 months to get in contact with the people for the scholarship.  I have been waiting 3 months for an insurance agent to call back.  I don't need to go into all the calls dealing with our house people refused to return.  What is it?  I don't know that there can be anything more unprofessional than not returning calls from clients/customers/friends whatever they may be.  I took the time to call because it was important.  There is a good chance I don't really want to talk to you about it either if it has been months, but I have to.  Is it really that hard to return a phone call, or even an email?

My blog has been to "churchy" so I had to throw this one in the mix.  Whatever.

Real Serenity

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Unfortunately, most people never read the whole prayer.  They end without acknowledging that hardship is part of life, and that Jesus will make all things right in the end if we surrender to Him.

My favorite part is the prayer that I will be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.  Our faith in Christ guarantees us eternal happiness with him.  I taught this week on how much better Heaven is than the box of cotton balls portail we get from Hollywood.

I want to talk about this life.  What is reasonably happy?  I think that is the definition of content.  There is two sides to this, one being the obvious.  We need to find joy in spite of our troubles.  We need to find happiness through all circumstances, no matter how difficult that is.  This is the most obvious point of being reasonably happy, because this is where we struggle the most.  I see myself as reasonably happy.  I like my life.  I have everything I could ask for in life, and then some.  Sure I have problems to fight through, but I do my best to not let them steal my happiness.  My happiness is in Christ, my "crutch" if you want to call it that.  I don't care, I'm willing to admit I'm broken and need Him.  If you are more hard-headed and would like to try to fix your own brokenness, go right ahead.  I'll let the one who created me take care of it.  That is a different subject, but I want to leave it in here because it needs to be said.  The point is, even though struggles come, I can always focus on the end result.  One day I'll be with Jesus and He will make everything right.

Which brings me to the other side.  We can't be fully happy in this life.  Even our founders wanted to insure the pursuit of happiness.  Serenity and contentment are based on the knowledge that we will never be fully happy in this life.  This life is messed up.  Our bodies are broken, our morals are broken, our families are broken, even our mentors/idols are broken.  To top it all off, we remain separated from our creator until our lives here come to an end.  We need to embrace that the only time we can be supremely happy is when we see Him face to face, and he makes all things right.

What is too much faith?

The preachers of a couple generations before mine are retiring, or at least attempting to.  One of the problems they are facing is that many of them set aside nothing while they ministered for so many years.  For many of them, it was an issue of faith vs common sense.  Many of them strongly believed that Christ would come back prior to them ever reaching retirement age, and preached that way.  This caused two problems.  One, their faith made them believe it was ignorant to save up for retirement since they would never reach it, and two, it caused the youth of those times to feel they would never live a full life because they two would be gone soon.

The Bible tells us how foolish it is to save up treasures on Earth, but that we should build up heavenly treasures.  So is it a lack of faith that tells us to save for the future?  Why am I on this kick?

Let me start with the scripture, it is much more important to focus on our heavenly existence for eternity, after all, it is eternity.  It does not mean we shouldn't provide for ourselves and our loved ones while on Earth.  This in no way tells us to live off society or those around us, but rather to share what we have been given, and focus on those eternal things.  In all things, our common sense should support faith.  For example, common sense tells us we didn't originate from an inanimate object and later a monkey.  That supports our faith.  Common sense (and scripture) tells us to be good stewards of what God blesses us with.  That supports our faith.

In a small group discussion centered on stewardship and tithing, we talked about what should be done in hard times.  The Biblical answer is give, we are giving out of what we have, not out of how we feel God is blessing or not blessing at the present moment.  Those are the times we can be most joyful in giving, because it means more (see the story of the widow's mite).

Why this, why now?  Pretty simple, it relates.  Jess and I recently made some decisions about giving above our normal giving.  It just so happens this was before the recent financial surprises we have had.  We had to choose to stick behind them, or to follow through, knowing that we were already using some savings to cover the surprises (isn't that what savings are for?)  Anyway, we stuck to our decisions and God is continuing to bless.  Not only are things not near as bad as they could have been, but we get to be a part of what God is doing through our giving.

Anyway, here's the point.  It is often difficult to find the balance between living by faith, and being financially sound.  I prefer choose faith if it is a close call.  I'll take God's blessing over my own financial wisdom (or lack thereof) any day.  But I don't want to end up working until I'm 90 (if I live that long) because I didn't balance things now.  I guess that's having faith in him guiding me financially now too.  At least we aren't socialists. That would make it crazy deciding what to give, but that's another days rant.

Cars Are of the Devil

I have the car in the shop for the FOURTH time in as many days. Shift lever linkage, two flat tires (which of coarse were not repairable), & now a cyllanoid (which low and behold just went out of warranty). Are you kidding me? Cars are of the devil. God continually blesses us and helps us get through all of this, but it still amazes me how much can happen at once. This ranks as one of the worst summers I can remember. From the housing, to the car, to the mower, to Pastor's health things have just been messed up. This is all to arrive at a point. I'm a big optimist. I enjoy life knowing that somehow it will work out. God always provides, & there is always a rainbow at the end of the storm. At least ther isn't some pious moron telling me God is punishing me for who knows what. That drives me nuts. I am praising God more & more for the health and well-being of my fam. We got to have
"family time" this summer. I love my fam and church, and God is blessing both. He is good, all the time.

Perspective

Our car will work again, our mower will work again, our shower will work aga... well for the first time. Things break and they get fixed. I do my best to put them in perspective. Jayden loves school, we are no longer homeless, have a beautiful country home, we are mostly healthy, and God is really blessing our church and family. It's all about perspective. It's a good day.

A New Beginning

Jess, Jayden, and I got to see a beautiful sunrise this morning.  True, Jess was running up our driveway carrying Jayden, while I trotted along behind with the camera because the bus was 5 minutes early, but it was still beautiful.

Yes, Jayden started school today, I know most people who read this already have kids and school, so I won't bore you with the details, but I digress.  He's my first, and it was all too obvious this morning.  We decided not to tell him he was starting today, so he would sleep last night, but this also made him unsure that it was really happening.  He was too excited to eat breakfast, and curiosity overwhelmed him.  As I said before, we ended up running up the drive to meet the bus since it was early, and the symbolism was too obvious.  There we were rushing to get our kid on the bus, rushing to send him to school, rushing to get him out in the world.  We honestly tried to make the most of our time with him the last few years, but now it seems all rushed.  We can only pray that we have influenced him in such a way to do what is right without us around now.  As for what he thought about the ordeal, Jess and I waited next to his window to wave goodbye as he drove off, but he never looked out the window.  Once he stepped on the bus, he was ready to meet life head on.  Good luck little buddy.  Mommy and daddy are praying for you.

Home and happy.

We are working like crazy trying to get settled in to the new house.  Lots of unpacking, lots of wasp killing, and lots of water leaks to fix.  I have spent way too much time stuck in the crawl space under our master bath.  I am no plumber, but it drives me crazy to know what is wrong and not be able to fix it, so I will keep trying.  Sooner or later I will be able to actually take a shower in my shower.  Until then, we will continue to hang out on the back deck watching the sun set.  I think I can survive.

Excitement vs Enthusiasm

For those who missed out, I got my first snake at the new house today.  It was hiding in a humidifier box.  Glad I found it now.  We love our new house, and are enjoying every moment we spend there.  We are also exhausted though.  A friend of mine once told me that when we are tired we are more easily broken, and when we are broken is when God shows up.

I am thrilled about starting our Celebrate Recovery tonight, and am looking forward to what God is going to do with it.  We are starting small to get the kinks out, so that we will be prepared for the blessings I know God has for me.  I never thought I would need CR, until I started preparing for it.  I can't believe how much it has helped me, and know it God will use it to help many others.  We will be watching an intro video from Saddleback tonight for any who are interested.

I'm not a dr.

We are in our house.  Yeah!  I went to the doctor today to see if he could help me get rid of this rediculous cough I have.  I like my new dr.  The office is really clean, well kept.  It has nice chairs and plenty of flat panel tvs.  The receptionist and nurses are always friendly and do their jobs well.  The doctor told me I had a cough.  Thanks doc.  Had I known that maybe I wouldn't have come.  Good grief.  A few antibiotics and call him if it doesn't go away.

Then I was vaccuuming the church I realized I was making it nice to look at, we have nice tvs, friendly reception people, and most people are friendly to people when they come in.  Unfortunately, that is not what people need.  They come because they are sick, they are looking for some way to get better.  I don't see us pastors as doctors, more like pharmacists.  We are just reading what the doctor wrote (occasionally having to translate!), and telling people how follow the doctor's orders.  I wish I could go to Dr Jesus.  No copay.

No more sleeps

The day is here!  Jayden is confused because he knows we get in our house today, but isn't there yet.  He also went to his school to meet his class and leave all his school supplies, but had to leave afterward.  He wants his stuff.  We want our stuff (it's in the new house).  We talked to Jayden about Mexico today and how they don't have near as much stuff.  How the people there are more poor.  If you've been to Mexico, you understand what that means.  You also understand that they are, for the most part, able to enjoy life more than us.  They have learned to enjoy what they do have, and not worry so much about stuff.  I like stuff, I like the big TV, all of "Jayden's" toys, I'm even excited about a lawn tractor.  The last couple months has helped me realize that I don't need that stuff to be happy.  I feel closer to my wife than ever, because we were bored out of our minds and in desperation for most of the time.  I have my God, my family, and my church.  That's all I need.  (I will still enjoy all my stuff though!)

Daily Life Continues

We spent this morning meeting some of the faculty at Jayden's school (yes, he is starting school next Tuesday).  There was a lot of talk about how bad the winter is there, hopefully we will have a plow.  Of coarse, we would like to be in the house too.

We arrived at church to find that Pastor Hart had accidently flooded the baptistry over.  It is a nice mess.  I told Pastor I was glad he did it and not Andrew or me.  I think he understood.  We have staff meeting next to plan for the fall.

Life is filled with ups and downs.  New beginnings, big messes, cleaning up, then planning on how to make things better for the future.  It's a daily thing.  I personally find myself the most happy when I'm problem solving.  It's refreshing to see something that is broken start to work properly again.  I think God enjoys that too.  How incredible it must be to him to see someone who is totally messed up finally allow Him to fix them, make them whole.  I want to be whole, I want my family to be whole, and I want my church to be whole.  If there is one thing I've had crammed into my mind lately, it's that I can't make any of that whole.  If I could fix it, I would have, but I can't, so I don't.  Thank God I'm not Him (I'm sure everybody else does too!)